Things I can do instead of having a job

Obviously, I screwed up on Monday, but it made me realize that I'm unhappy in my current situation. Something needs to change. I had changed from a part-time job to a full-time job (which is the position I'm in now) in August. Unfortunately, neither position made me happy. So now I just need to find something that does make me happy. I've compiled a list, because lists are awesome.

1. Be an unemployed bum. This, truthfully, is the most appealing of the options.
2. Find another job that sucks the soul out of my body. This is the rational response to the situation.
3. Take out a bunch of student loans and continue going to school even though I have no way of paying for it. This doesn't sound very sensible to me, but it's better than the other two options.
4. Get married. Start having babies. Nothing says freedom like being a stay-at-home mother! (Well, okay, that's not entirely true. But at least I'd have something to keep me occupied all day and all night.)
5. Get married to someone who already has a couple of wives. Takes less pressure off of me to have children, but I'd still have something to do.
6. Yoga. All day, every day.
7. Run from one coast of the United States to the other. Forrest Gump did it!
8. Learn to cook. And clean. And be responsible. This is not appealing at all, but I need to do it at some point.
9. Shower more frequently. Something tells me this isn't going to happen.
10. Start working on my cat army. Kittens need jobs, too!
11. Buy lots of hair accessories. Best idea yet, but you need money to do that. Phooey.
12. Start blogging more. I like this idea. I need more practice anyway. There are only so many lists I could make.

I have a good start on what I'm going to do. Now I just need to do something. Bleh.

Things To Do When You Misplace Your Keys and Can't Get To Work

So I misplaced my car keys today. That was stupid. I ended up missing work because I work 20 miles away and no one could give me a ride.

So here's a list of things I came up with to do when you are in this situation:

• Search like mad. Your keys are lost; you damn well better find them.

• Clean like mad. All of the unorganized piles of junk are seriously impairing your ability to find your keys. You might as well be productive.

• Make some lunch. Searching for keys on an empty stomach isn't exactly productive.

• Cry. Maybe it will make you feel better about being such an idiot. 

• More cleaning. Less guilt.

• Get online. Visit forums where you have friends who can make you feel better about being such an idiot.

• Write a blog post. Because writing always make you feel better! Well, it makes me feel better...

• Watch The Guild. You didn't realize Season 5 was out since they didn't post it on their YouTube channel.

• Search again for keys. Still haven't found them... GRR! WHERE ARE THEY?

• Accept failure. Sometimes you're the dog and sometimes you're the bone that gets gnawed to death.

• Call your boss and explain that you're a moron. You really don't want him to know you're a moron, but you'd rather him know that than think you're a lazy bastard.

• Stuff yourself with pizza and mourn your sad state. There's not a whole lot of other things to do since you're stuck at home alone.

• Watch The Daily Show. That always makes you feel better.

Yes. I am an idiot, but at least I got an unexpected day off!

Skittles Newlyweds Ad

I figured I should break in the new blog with my favorite Youtube video.

I aim to be brilliant

But brilliance will have to start tomorrow.

What? It's Sunday. I have the right to be lazy.